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Let’s face it: life is busy, and we rarely get a chance to slow down.
(Hence this post going up on Saturday instead of Thursday, as was planned.)
What’s the cost of not slowing down? What do you gain by keeping moving, but more importantly, what do you lose by not slowing down?
Studies show that our brains were not built to multitask, at least not very well (seriously, read about it here). So when we ARE trying to multitask, the most opposite of moving slow that we can do, what’s the result?
As it turns out, unless it’s two pretty basic tasks, like talking while you wash dishes, your brain actually performs more slowly at each of the tasks than if you did one completely and then moved on to the next. Equate that to clicking too fast on your computer (i.e., trying to do too much, too fast), and you know how it feels for things to take longer than they should as your computer tries to balance too many tasks at once. And you get frustrated.
It’s important to slow down once in a while.
First, because it’s much less frustrating when things happen at their intended speed, instead of longer than normal.
Second, because then we don’t end up wasting time being further slowed down, or, worse, completely missing other important things happening around us because we’re too distracted with over-tasked brains.
The last time you tried to take an important phone call at work while still finishing a presentation for that afternoon, or you tried to pay the bills while cooking dinner — how did it turn out?
I’ll bet you made some mistakes.
You probably had to double check your checkbook balance when you were done. Maybe you had spellcheck flag more mistakes than you usually get. Heck, maybe you made my favorite mistake and typed exactly what was leaving your mouth for the phone call right into your presentation (and it was totally irrelevant)!
In life, when we make the effort to slow down, the world seems to slow down with us.
Too many of us are trying to live our lives in the fast lane, without much to show for it. Just like with traffic, when everyone wants to be in the fast lane, it can often become the slow lane.
I mean, let’s go with that traffic analogy for a minute: have you ever actually done the calculations on driving speed and destination arrival time? Turns out speeding on your way to work only saves you a few minutes at best. The most likely result is extra stress for you and everyone around you.
The same applies to you trying to speed through the less pleasant parts of your life — work, chores, etc. Pushing to move faster will likely end up with you more stressed while you’re doing them, worn out more by the end, and less able to be present for your loved ones when you finally have the time with them.
I was reminded of this over the last couple weeks.
For the last couple months, I’ve been getting a little more overwhelmed with my task list, raising two kids, Eric’s recovery medications/plan/return to work date changing a few times, AND thinking I needed to stay on top of everything as if I was a perfect, happy, efficient stay-at-home mom/wife/homemaker.
Guess who failed at keeping a level head…and at keeping up on things.
I starting trying to move faster than I was capable, to get more done than one person could possibly do.
I tried to fast-track my results, and everyone else got left behind, but not in a good way.
My son started to act more like a “threenager” than ever. My 16-month old daughter was more and more clingy (making getting things done even more difficult and slow). I was snapping at and complaining to my husband about nearly every little thing he did, no matter how trivial.
WHAM.
Out of what felt like nowhere we got a stomach bug. Luckily only my son and myself got sick, the baby and Eric dodged it.
Fast forward about 8 days later, and my son picked up croup from somewhere. Luckily he’s a tough kid so it’s mostly like a very mild cold, but still, he’s not his usual self.
In these last two weeks, I had no choice but to slow down to mostly zero on everything but taking care of my kids and myself. Dishes and laundry piled up; dust bunnies exploded in size. But do you know what else happened?
As I had to slow down and work piled up around me, I felt happier than I had in a long time.
I had an excuse to just sit and snuggle my kids — one felt yucky and the other was jealous.
I had a couple days to just sit and rest or read a book — I felt too yucky or tired/weak to do much else.
My eyes were opened to just how much I had missed in the short couple months that I’d been working myself up to a frenzy of stress.
I know you may not hold the same religious views as I do, but I feel like God has a bit of a sense of humor. Here I was, stressing for a couple months about getting everything done, always fearful of any illnesses in our house. It would surely slow me down for at least a day or two (and I didn’t think I could spare even a few minutes, let alone days).
Well, joke’s on me, because apparently a couple “days off” were exactly what I needed.
I felt recharged after a day of nothing but sleeping on and off when I was sick. I felt reconnected to my kids (which I didn’t know I needed) — they needed mama snuggles to feel better. Though still a little weak, I managed to get the kitchen cleaned up the day after I was sick. Even though it was only one chore done that day (and it took me hours) I felt more ready and capable of taking on my task list than I had for weeks.
Something amazing happens when you slow down: you stress less, your kids grow up slower, your days seem longer, and your life seems more full.
So how do you balance it all, when your head wants you to move fast, but your heart says to slow down?
You do your best to appease them both, which I know is easier said than done.
Your life and your responsibilities are different from anyone else reading this. Through trial and error, as well as some healthy and regular reflection, you can find the balance between speeding through your responsibilities and leaving yourself enough energy for your most important responsibility — sharing your love with those around you and giving yourself a chance to recharge.
Here are some things you can try, to find your balance:
- Reformat your task lists to increase your productivity.
- Try journaling to help you reflect and track which changes work, and which don’t.
- Learn to fit in some “time off” to live life each day, so you don’t have to feel like you’re living weekend to weekend.
- Remember that your life will likely always look different than someone else’s. That’s ok, because you aren’t them, and you’ve got your own balance to find.
- There’s a quote that we’ve all heard, and it applies here.
Whatever you do, do it with all your heart.
If you give everything you have to what you’re doing, you’ll get the most back from it. You get back what you put in.
Pour your heart into your job, and you’ll reap the rewards you so desperately seek — recognition, a raise, a promotion.
Come home and check out of your job. Put your undivided attention into your family, and you’ll see the same results. Acceptance, love, a stronger bond, and a sense of healing from the day’s struggles.
Fun fact: that quote is actually straight from the Bible — Colossians 3:23. If you’re on the religious fence but open to trying something new, you might want to start reading the Bible. (Get started right now, for free, with this app. If you’re like me and prefer a physical, paper version, I’d recommend this one for ease of understanding and great font size.) I’ve found an excellent study book that’s great for any level of familiarity with the Bible, that I’ll introduce you to in one of my future posts. It’s even part coloring book!
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